There’s nothing more difficult than realizing a parent can no longer care of themselves.
Not every family is able to take over that responsibility and sometimes an aging loved one needs more care than it’s possible for the family to provide.
Starting a conversation about assisted living for elderly parents can be one of the hardest things you ever have to do.
We’ve compiled some suggestions for how to broach the subject of assisted living for elderly parents with them and other family members in a loving and sensitive way.
Do Your Research First
It will be hard for you to answer questions about assisted living if you don’t know what the answer is. You also want to be able to ease their fears and speak about this option with confidence.
Check into the assisted living facilities in your area, pick up any literature they offer on their residence and ask the staff any questions you have. This will help you to be informed and to confidently answer any concerns your loved one will have during this difficult conversation.
Find Answers From Experts
There are organizations that can help you find the answers you need. You don’t want to rely solely on the facility staff for answers because they are trying to make a sale. While they are a good place to start you don’t want to make the decision based solely on a sales pitch.
The Administration on Aging can help you and your loved one find the information and resources available in your area. The American Association for Retired Persons (AARP) is another valuable resource available to help in this time of transition.
Talk to Families Who’ve Gone Through It
The best people to ask are those who have already been there and done that. This can be helpful to you and your loved one. They can tell you about things that made the transition easier, what they wish they’d known before making their choice and the positive aspects of the facility they chose.
Make a List
Make a list of questions you have to ask the experts. Create a list of pros and cons for all the options available including assisted living facilities for seniors. This will help you know how to address any concerns your family members may have.
Start Slow and Ease Into The Topic
You don’t want your aging parent to feel blindsided when discussing the need for assisted living. It doesn’t have to be something that is decided in one conversation. You can bring up the topic in a sensitive manner by slowly working your way up to it being about their situation.
Talk to them about others who have found assisted living to be a positive experience, discuss the wonderful features of these facilities and all the benefits of living there.
This will also help you get a sense of what their feelings are and what fears they have about making this change in their lives.
You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
Have your siblings and other trusted loved ones offer support during this time. They can be a valuable resource and take a lot of the pressure off of you while showing love and support to your parent as they warm up to the idea of an assisted living arrangement.
Your parent’s family doctor is another resource that will be essential to the process. They can answer questions you and your loved one may have while giving a professional trusted opinion to help back up your position.
There are many resources to help you and your aging parent as you decide the best options for your family.
Be Sensitive with the Words You Choose
Your parent may be more receptive to words like “retirement living community” than the term assisted living. You don’t want to bruise their pride or make them feel like they are being forced into a nursing home when that is not what is happening.
Help Them Make the Choice Rather Than Feel Forced into It
No one likes to be forced to do something, especially if it means giving up the home they love and feel safe in. Help your aging parent realize that this is a positive move.
Take them on tours of local facilities, give them time to get used to the idea and nudge them into making the choice themselves.
There are options to allow them the time they need to adjust. Compassionate homecare options such as a housekeeping helper, personal care workers, and day programs can be a great way to transition them into assisted living arrangements.
Create a Transition Plan
You can help ease a lot of concerns by having a plan. This will include a timeline that you can agree on and a financial plan. For many considering assisted living finances are their biggest worry. If you have a plan they won’t be worried about the unknown. You can ease their fears and yours.
Discuss the things they want to keep for sentimental reasons and gently talk about what will happen to their other worldly possessions such as the house they live in, furniture, etc.
Let them know what things they can bring with them and tell them how you will protect and preserve the treasures that won’t go with them.
Accentuate the Positive
There are many benefits to living in an assisted living community. Make sure you accentuate these each time you bring up the subject.
Think about what your parent enjoys, what they value and what they need. Let them know how the proposed changes will meet all of those needs and enrich their lives.
Whether it’s the social activities and recreational programs, the facility chef or the in-house spa. Talk about the ways they’ll be pampered and how their lives will improve by making the choice to live in a retirement community or assisted living facility.
Love, Patience, and Support
Choosing assisted living for aging parents is a stressful and difficult time for everyone. Take a moment to realize just how hard this may be for them.
Show them love, patience, and support as they come to terms with the many changes this move will involve.
For support and resources to help your family contact us today.
Assisted Living for Elderly Parents
